Zippy Hendirez 3.0

Sunday, July 13, 2008

 

One More Thing

Hello, my name is Zippy Hendirez, and I'm a diabetic.

I think I've managed to go through all the stages of grief twice since I found out Monday. Currently, I'm on confusion (yes, I know that's not on the list), as I need to go food shopping, but my diabetes education isn't until Tuesday, so I've only got vague ideas what to buy.

Apples for snacks. That's about it. All the online literature tends to contradict itself.

So, my life is changing, once again. The end result this time, since I need to lose weight and eat better by necessity, should be positive.

We shall see.

Zippy 12:15 PM

Sunday, May 25, 2008

 

Spring Has Sprung

From the rose bushes in the side yard.

Now I'm trying to get grass seed to turn into grass on the dead patch where they put in the new sewer line two years ago.

Progress!

Zippy 3:52 PM

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

 

Lost and Found



Here's the long-lost photocopy of the one time that a photo of mine appeared in the New York Times.

Found it while cleaning out a box in the garage.

Zippy 6:36 PM

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

 

So, I've been at work since 7:30, unable to do any work.

The main server in MN died in a power outage this morning. They haven't fixed things yet.

So I can't post anything. At. All.

I can't even tell people there's something wrong and we're not just leaving 6 hour old radar images and 12 hour old stories on the site.

So, I've written stories to post in Word, but I've got so many I've stopped writing.

This is absurd.

Updated

The system came back online at 2:30, half an hour before I go home. That was a damn busy 30 minutes.

Zippy 11:57 AM

Sunday, May 04, 2008

 

So Help Me...

Squeaky's laptop wasn't working. Sent it to HP. They fixed it. Now, all of a sudden, the laptop says that it doesn't have a valid copy of Windows...but HP didn't replace the hard drive, so it's the same copy she's had since last summer.

The hell?

Boo was sick, and it was ugly. Lethargic, unhappy, and then, pukey! Good times.

I was up hella early to go to work to livestream the local marathon. Went to McD's to get some hash browns. Forgot my change. They were good, but not $10 good.

I suck.

Boo's started waking up in the night and wanting to come sleep with us. This isn't going to go over well for long, I think. Squeaky has enough trouble sleeping as is.

No, I don't have a point for this post. Do you?

Zippy 3:54 PM

Thursday, April 24, 2008

 

Crikey.

And then suddenly, it's almost May.

I'm still here, folks. Just...here.

Work is fine, Squeaky is fine, Xander's fine, Quark's fine. It's good to be fine.

The potential new job is now likely "months" from a decision, thanks to the crappy economy. People who leave aren't being replaced, but at least they're not firing anyone.

May sweeps has begun (and, wow, April 24 seems waaaaaay early for that)

I need, rather desperately, to clean out my car. It's getting bad, bad, bad. "Call in an airstrike" bad. Life with a toddler, I guess.

Zippy 8:34 PM

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

 

Odds And Ends

From the random file:

Please note the incredible price savings on this washer from Sears' outlet store:

Whew. Squeaky wasn't going to go for it until I told her about the 11 cents off deal.

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"All we have to fear is fear itself" --Franklin Delano Roosevelt

See, heard on a scratchy radio and spoken by one of the upper-tier presidents in the history of our nation, that can be an inspiring statement.

Seeing that statement on a Subway Chili sign on SR 747 in West Chester? Not so much so.

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Shot a wedding this weekend. 435 photos...all but 30 at the ceremony or church. The reception was a sit-down dinner only. They cut the cake before dinner so I could leave.

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I'm not losing weight, but my belt is getting loose on the tightest setting.

Zippy 9:30 PM

Monday, March 31, 2008

 

The Photo I Didn't Quite Take

One of the neat things about digital photography is how you can change what is seen based upon what your camera saw. In this case, three photos, each 2 stops of exposure apart.







Which are then combined in a program designed to create high dynamic range photographs.













So after a few clicks and moved sliders, the three rather bland photos I took in the space of four seconds...











becomes something rather fascinating to behold.

When I shoot that wedding this weekend, I'm going to try this with a shot of the bride and groom.

Zippy 8:11 PM

Monday, March 24, 2008

 

How To Get Around Pesky NCAA TV Regulations



Duke sucks.

Zippy 1:35 PM

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

 

Rain

My first bus arrived three minutes early to pick me up, but dropped me off five minutes late. So I missed my second bus and stood in the rain for the emergency reserve bus, as I call it.

It was dark and cold and damp, and I loved it. It's rare nowadays that I get to trot out all the foul-weather gear I bought and accumulated as a photojournalist.

Of course, I was damn cold by the time I got to work. But I was dry.

Then one of my going-home buses broke down. It was not my day for buses.

I've been working on Squeaky's laptop for three or four days, trying to track down why it was suddenly rebooting constantly. Turns out (surprise!) Microsoft sent out a bad Windows update, so bad that uninstalling it (which I had done before I knew it was the problem) DOESN'T FIX IT.

Of course, that only required backing up her files, then nuking the hard drive and doing a system recovery. Bill Gates friggin' owes me.

Also got a used extended life battery for my newest used laptop. Looks like it's going to be a darn good battery for the dirt-cheap I paid for it.

My new toy is a somewhat-elderly IBM R51 Thinkpad. It's got some physical issues, but it runs solid and easy. Someday I'll get me a T61, but not today.

Time to go see how the restore program's going.

Zippy 10:25 PM

Thursday, March 13, 2008

 

Somewhere Between Here And There

Yes, I still live, if barely.

Currently listening to Genesis' concert in Cleveland this summer, courtesy my brother. So far, I have to say, I'm glad I didn't shell out the cash to go see this. It's just not that impressive.

What else has been going on...we had a blizzard of sorts, dropped a foot of snow or so. Rather than sleep at work, I actually worked much of the blizzard from home, and it was much nicer that way.

Xander's now got a drum set, which I'd show you, but Blogger don't feel like uploading images right now. (Oh, wait, there it is) He has a blast with it, and almost has rhythm periodically. Despite what non-drum-owners may think, it's not that bad, and a far sight easier to listen to than when he was banging on my overturned BGSU trash can.

Squeaky's got a new job working for the university, so she makes more money, works with some cool research stuff (dude, she messes with MRSA) and gets to ride the bus to work for free. Plus, when we switch to her health insurance, we'll save a lot of money (without switching to Geico).

This has forced us to wake Boo up earlier than he's used to. Much earlier. And I'm learning what Squeaky's known for months.

Boo is _not_ a morning person.

About half the time, I dress him as he sleeps and whines, then leave him in bed so I can catch my bus downtown.

In other news, I switched anti-depressants in an effort to drive off some of the general malaise I felt the old one was causing. Which was a great idea, except that, since I'm a creature of habit and Boo's morning routine is a tad screwy, I tend to forget to take it about one day in three.

Grrrrr.

Once I get on the once-a-day version, I'll be okay, as I always took the previous one before bed.

Hmmm. Genesis is doing a good job on "Follow You, Follow Me", one of my favorites.

I've added "stock image photographer" to my resume. Mind you, I've only managed to get one stock photo Web site to take my images...and they only accepted one...but I've earned 50 cents so far off that one image!

Another $29.50, and they'll cut me a check! ;)

I figure if I can get any good at it, it's a bit more income. I just have virtually no experience in this sort of thing, so I'm trying to find things I can shoot easily around here. Which isn't all that easy, surprisingly.

Oooh, "Mama". One of the spookiest songs Genesis ever did.

Overall, life ain't bad. Sorry I haven't been the best conversationalist lately. There's no real reason--it's just seemed like there's nothing to say that I've not said before.

That hasn't changed, really. But sometimes the words need to be said, regardless.

Zippy 8:53 PM

Friday, March 07, 2008

 

Happy Birthday Xander!

Good lord, he's 3.

We're doomed.

Zippy 6:14 AM

Thursday, March 06, 2008

 

Sunny Side Up

The parking deck view as I came to work Thursday.

Zippy 8:53 AM

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

 

Welcome To 38

So far, I've spent my birthday in meetings, arguing about a quote with the mayor of Cincinnati, watching snow flurries come and go, writing about a kindergartener suspended for having a mohawk haircut, a double homicide ("Self-defense", the suspect claims), a county auditor staring at 30 years in a federal prison (probably much less) and updating weather reports.

I came home early because I was bored stiff at work, so I took off.

In a bit, I'll pick up Xander and we'll go watch for trains at the CSX yard.

In between, I'm going to figure out what to make for dinner (Lasagna? Chicken?) and maybe take a few photos.

All in all, a pretty good day, I think.

Zippy 2:48 PM

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

 

Wrong, Wrong, Wrong

At least we don't do this to Quark.

*shudder*

(best moment: anchor asks "Is that a denim miniskirt?")

Zippy 8:22 AM

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

 

Have You Seen Me Lately?

Geez, I really should keep up better than this.

Let's see what's happened since Jan. 8...um...work, obviously.

We all got sick, not quite at the same time, not quite with the same ailments. We blame Xander, of course.

Sold off my beloved Toughbook and replaced it with a Gateway that has a few features that the Toughbook lacked. The new (used) laptop will better gel with my current photography "business", as it were.

But I'll miss my ol' Toughbook. Maybe some day, I'll actually have the cash to buy a new one.

Went to see "Cloverfield", which I'd been waiting for since I saw the trailer before "Transformers". It was quite good. Exactly what I imagined it would be, played out the way I thought, and was very well done. The unanswered questions about the monster, etc, still bug me, but if you go see it, watch the last Coney Island scene veeeery closely.

Also, if "Blair Witch" was hard to watch because of the shaky camera, bring Bonine or Dramamine to "Cloverfield". It gets better as time goes on, but that first 40 minutes or so, woo.

If I can catch a matinee, I may go see "There Will Be Blood" on Friday.

Xander's approaching 3, and already acting it. A growing percentage of things you ask him to do are automatically answered with "No", but it's not too bad, once you subtract getting him dressed and changing his diaper.

I'm still waiting to see about the possible new job. They've not interviewed me officially, and, if they can't get the pay up, the ND might just not interview me because he knows it's currently a good bit less than I make now. But I'd still like to be considered. We'll see.

Otherwise, I'm off this week to make up for not being able to take all my vacation last year, so I'm hoping to vege a bit the next two days (Due to forgetting/leaving things at work, I've been at the station at some point each of the previous three days)

Meanwhile, the darn furnace is still a pain in my side. See, the electrical inspector found a problem, so the installers had to come back. Meanwhile, the city has been asking me to schedule a final inspection, but I can't do that until I get the electrical inspector.

But, finally, the electrical guy is coming Thursday, and the city guy's coming Friday, and so help me, that better be the end of the whole thing.

Hmmmm...I think that updates my life pretty well at this point. With any luck, it won't be two weeks before my next post for the four of you who read this. :)

Zippy 3:37 PM

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

 

Tempted By The Lens Of Another

Playing cameras professionally can be a dangerous game. While there's always a chance of violence when you go out into the world, the more dangerous target is closer to home.

Your bank account.

Especially if you're someone like me, who can be, how shall I say, a bit flighty on camera technology.

I was checking out a Flickr page shot by someone with the new Nikon D3 (unaffordable), and got to thinking about Nikons in general. Then I read something else about the Nikon D300, which gets such rave reviews you'd think it was turned up to 11.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, I wanted one. Now.

Fortunately for everyone who has access to our money (Squeaky and I), I didn't have $1,700 to plunk down right now, or I'da bought one before a cooler head prevailed.

After a bit of poking around, I remembered the lesson that ol' Prof. Gordon used to bash into our heads in Introduction to Photojournalism back in college.

It's not the equipment, it's the eye behind it.

Simply put, I'm not going to be a better photographer with a Nikon D300 than I am with a Canon 20D.

So instead, I took the 20D to the park with Xander and shot a few frames in black and white, just like the old days when I was push processing Tri-X to 3200 ISO so I could barely get enough light to shoot on my Nikon FM-2 inside Anderson Arena.

It was nice. It felt natural. And even with Xander's rather constant barks of "Don't picture me!", it felt good.

I need to do that more often.

Zippy 9:18 PM

Monday, December 31, 2007

 

Here Comes Another Year! Run! Save Yourself!

So here I am, waiting for 2008. I may even stay up that late, since I'm trying to figure out just how far I want to go into this weekend wedding photography gig (yes, I keep saying I'm an event photographer...but I've had one event and four weddings. Um.)

Two of those weddings were in the last week, including an emergency session for my wife's cousin, whose photographer didn't return their calls for a week prior to the wedding (He did call, three hours before the wedding, to ask when he should be there.)

But I'd say it went well. The first couple I shot was a small wedding (meaning, minister, me, bride, groom, three guests. That's it) and they e-mailed me back to say that of the 143 shots I gave them, they considered 73 to be "great". That's a far better average than I usually assess myself, since I still work on the old photojournalist rule that in a given 36-shot roll of film, you'll usually have 3 solid shots.

I'm definitely getting better at this whole thing, and slowly realizing that there's little things I can do to improve, rather than drop lots of money on lenses and such.

Of course, I'll need to do that too, eventually. Some of the lenses I'm using really aren't designed for what I'm using them for. But they work for now.

Work is okay. My coworker's on paternity leave, and he'll be back next Monday. But really, if there's two weeks in the year to do my job solo, these would be the two weeks. I'm taking a week off in January simply because it was impossible for me to take all my assigned time off within 2007 (and I still have a week carrying over to '08)

Christmas was good. I ended up with a new coat and seven new books. Xander's now got a toddler bed with Thomas the Tank Engine sheets, and has yet to ask where the crib went, plus a basketball hoop and more Thomas toys.

I hit a bird with my car (or, the bird hit my car, depending on your point of view). I was getting on I-75 from the Norwood Lateral, and it just flew across the front of my car and I hit it. 22 years of driving, and that's never happened to me before.

As George mentioned on Seinfeld, I thought the birds and I had an agreement.

I could do a lookback at 2007 like some people I've seen do on their blogs. But honestly, I don't remember all that much. It still feels like yesterday and a decade ago.

But I hope all y'all have yourself a good 2008.

Zippy 9:16 PM

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

 

The Sounds Of Christmas

I thought it was a good idea.

I still think it's mostly a good idea.

But that cymbal is awful clangy...

Zippy 12:27 PM

Thursday, December 20, 2007

 

Oh, Boy.

It seems that I can't go more than a year or two without having to make a major decision about my employment future.

In this case, I'd be in the same building, doing a similar job, with more responsibility, for a different company.

And a former co-worker I talked to about the job gave voice to a concern that I've not even voiced to myself, but felt -- that the company I work for now is not the one I signed up for, and it's changing away from that every day.

But I'd give up my rather lenient schedule for a solid 9-5, which would eliminate the time I spend with X before dinner. Heck, Squeaky and I would get home about the same time, which would leave about 90 minutes to get X (and us) fed, X bathed and in bed.

And odds are, I'd only see a slight bump in pay. Wouldn't be able to take the bus anymore, either.

Not that I'm a shoe-in to get the job, either. I know one person the news director is going to call, if he hasn't already, and odds are she'd be his favorite for it. Could I work under her? Certainly.

But my career advancement in my current job is already at an end, unless I wish to move to the home office -- and I don't. So, if I want to stay at this station, this is the only route to move up.

And if I stay at what I'm doing, I'll be the head worker bee pretty much until someone tells me to go away. The new position would likely mean less work-work and more creative thinking, forward thinking--which is probably more stressful than what I do now.

But would it be more rewarding? What more can I do where I am now? Is that the important thing?

I suspect that, regardless, I'm going to apply for it. What I'm going to do from there, though...

We shall see.

Zippy 8:36 PM

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

 

Christmas Tree Time

Zippy 9:23 PM

Friday, December 07, 2007

 

This week, on Look Before You Post Theater...

Really, people, is this the best image to go with the story you're talking about?

Zippy 11:26 AM

 

Here We Go Again

Back in at 2 a.m. for another round of winter. Sleet and freezing rain, mainly. Did some old work on video segments that failed to load. Napped.

Going home at noon. Time for more nap.

Zippy 11:20 AM

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

 

Midnight In The Garden Of Snow And Wind

It's 1 a.m., and I'm at work, waiting for the White Death to arrive (also known as 1 to 3 inches of snow).

Sure, I could'a waited until morning. But then I'd have to drive in with the nuts who think snow is just white rain. And I like my car intact.

So, here I am, catching up on housekeeping like renewing my insurance and fixing some byline issues.

Oh, and blogging.

Heavens, late-night TV is just awful. How many phone chat lines are there, anyway?

So far, I've seen nine snowflakes.

Zippy 1:18 AM

Monday, November 26, 2007

 

Almost Peace

Serenity.

I had it, if only briefly, today.

The rain hadn't really stopped all day when I went out to catch the bus home. But I had my beloved rain hat, raincoat, waterproof pants and boots, so I just stood in the rain.

I listened to it fall on my hat and coat, each sound a bit different than the next. I heard the rain falling through the trees around me.

It was chilly, but not too cold, and I stayed dry and drank in the rain.

Then I promptly left my hat on the bus.

Sigh.

Update: My hat was turned in to Metro, and it's now it's in my hands. Whew.

Zippy 8:15 PM

Thursday, November 22, 2007

 

And Welcome To Thanksgiving

It's in the 30s and dropping outside my window as I "work" (seriously, folks, the news world screeches to a halt on holidays)

So, in an annual tradition (at least I think...I'm not going to check), here's my list of things I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for the Internet. Not only does it keep me employed, but it helps keep me entertained when I'm stuck at "work".

I'm thankful for books. I spend way too much time staring at screens, so it's nice to pick up a book and read. That's why I'll never buy an e-book reader or whatever. It's not the same.

I'm thankful for my relative health.

I'm thankful for my family, strange as they are (Mom won't eat turkey. Never has), and hope that in the coming years, they'll move closer so I can use them as babysitters.

I'm thankful for the Metro bus system that generally gets me where I'm going, usually on time, for somewhat less cost than driving myself.

I'm thankful for CSX, which doesn't seem to mind when Xander and I park outside their switching yard so Xander can watch the trains go by.

I'm thankful for Squeaky. I know I've not always been the best husband, and I apologize for that. You are my rock in a sea of life, an anchor I can hug and hold when the waves are crashing around me. I love you very, very much.

I'm thankful for Xander. You are a wonder, a joy, a royal pain in the butt, an angel, a devil, and one of the two greatest things that's ever come into my life (your mother's the other one, Boo). I also love you very, very much.

And, I'm thankful for the last year in which I could enjoy all these wonderful things and looking forward to many more.

Z. Hendirez.

Zippy 11:30 AM

Monday, November 19, 2007

 

Sometimes, The Bus Is Strange

There are certain regulars on my Metro route to and from work. One of them is a mentally-odd man who says nothing to anyone, just carries his lunch bag around with laminated cartoon characters attached to it.

A few times in the afternoon, he'd work to get on the bus before me and take the seat I had previously taken every day.

I moved up the line one stop to let me get the seat (and the legroom) that I wanted.

I did that again today, and he was at the next stop. He looked at me...and didn't get on.

One of the other regulars turned and said "You're in his seat, so he won't get on".

I was shocked. The hell? It's a bus seat. In the mornings, he doesn't sit there, or anywhere near it. But he wouldn't get on the bus because I was in "his" seat, even though it was mine long before he started riding the bus.

Grrr. There's only a certain number of "good" seats on the bus. Three, to be exact, unless you want to be sitting over the engine or have the sun shining on you the whole way up I-75.

So now, I'm trying to figure out where to sit tomorrow.

And today, for the first time, my seatmate fell asleep. On me.

Fortunately, she wasn't some smelly, drunk bum, but a young woman who probably was up too late. I had to wake her when we got to my stop, and that kinda startled her.

It was a strange day on 23X.

Zippy 7:31 PM

Thursday, November 15, 2007

 

Technerd Rides Again!

Yeah, the smartphone? Fun.

Maybe too much, but I'm sure I'll get used to having it and not spend every free moment looking for another feature or something.

Transferred my contacts from old phone to new. I think I'll need Squeaky to beam me some contacts, because mine are rather sparse.

Xander moment of the day: He knows what "spooning" is, so when we lay down on the futon in his room prior to bed, he'll say "Spoon?", and we'll spoon with him.

But for whatever, reason, he soon becomes annoyed with me and says "No, fork!"

Zippy 8:30 PM

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

 

Joining The Rest Of The 21st Century

So, now I have a smartphone.

People were always amazed that I, running a TV station's Web site, didn't have a Blackberry or Treo or iPhone to surf the net remotely.

But they were expensive, and I deemed them not worth the cost.

However, our plan with Sprint was up, and I decided to see if someone else had a better plan.

As it turned out, when I called to cancel our account, Sprint really wanted to keep us.

So now, Squeaky and I have Palm Centros (or would it be Centroes....grr)

I don't think me having one is quite as dangerous as when I first learned the Internet existed (1994, grad school, BGSU), but I can tell my bus rides are going to be much less boring now.

Zippy 11:06 PM

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

 

Jerry Goldsmith Is In Here Somewhere

Some days with Xander, like today, I find myself wondering where the choir is that is singing "Ave Satani" in my head.

Zippy 6:21 PM

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

 

It's Raining Rain ... Hallelujah

My wedding couple paid me the rest of the money, so that paid for groceries.

It's raining, thank heavens. Maybe a bit much, but was wonderful to sleep to last night.

I was amused while going to meet Squeaky and Boo to find that KDOT decided to simply tell people "Hey, high water ahead" rather than close two of three lanes on I-471...which given the amount of water I drove through, they probably should have.

This morning, I passed a smashed SUV on the Norwood Lateral, then drove around some guy's front bumper laying in the right lane about a mile later.

Someone noted that Cincinnati folk don't know what to do in the rain. I pointed out that in every major city in which I've covered news, people didn't know what to do in the rain. She felt better immediately.

In dumbass news, a local interstate was closed for a bit because someone drove into a construction zone with a trailer too wide...so they had to move EVERY INDIVIDUAL MEDIAN BARRIER so he could pass.

That's a paddlin'

Zippy 12:35 PM

Thursday, October 18, 2007

 

False Alarm

Also known as "fun with camera on bus ride home"

Zippy 10:20 PM

Friday, October 12, 2007

 

Okay, I Admit, I Love Lolcats

ICanHasCheezburger.com is a daily must.

Zippy 2:04 PM

Saturday, October 06, 2007

 

I Still Don't Like Weddings

But, today's was much better feeling than previous ones. I can't say I shot it any better or worse, but I can say that Lightsphere Chinese knock-off I bought was worth it. The ceilings were painted brown.

Yes, brown.

So bounce flash was right out. The Chightsphere (as I'll call it) did a nice job of lighting at close range while not blowing out the background or the subjects.

I also shot just over 350 photos, mainly in posed shots, though I did get a nice seven-shot sequence of the first kiss when the bride kissed the groom so hard and fast that his hat fell off.

Downside, the groom apparently forgot that he needed to pay me tonight, so I'll be watching the mail for the check.

The video guy was from Toledo (I can't imagine driving the length of Ohio to shoot a wedding) and we talked shop a good bit.

Oh, and the heat. OMG, the heat. It was 90 with come-and-go clouds. Fortunately, the clouds came more often than went, so it was marginally bearable. Even so, I sweated through my dress shirt three times in four hours.

I still had a rather high percentage of not-particularly sharp photos, and that's bugging me. Is it my lenses? The camera? Something I'm doing wrong? Grrrr...

Oh well. If I ever get another wedding to shoot, we shall see.

Zippy 9:36 PM

Thursday, October 04, 2007

 

I Haven't Got Time For The Pain

I can't say I feel much better than the last time I wrote here. But I simply have too much to do to care.

Work is gearing up. The elections in Ohio tend to be off-year, so while many places have only a few things on the ballot, we might have 450 to cover on Nov. 8.

Um. Yeah. Thank heavens for automation.

Xander story time: We were getting food at the drive-thru when he said he wanted to go see fire engines. I pointed out that we had to get Mama some food because she was hungry.

His response: "Mama's full!"

Zippy 7:53 PM

Friday, September 21, 2007

 

Who Am I, And What The Hell Am I Doing?

It's bad enough to not know who you are. It's equally bad to not know who you want to be.

Combine the two, and you start seriously considering upping your meds.

I'm trying very hard not to accept this, but my mind keeps coming back to it: I feel dead inside.

Everywhere I turn, I feel lost. I think about taking pictures, but don't want to. I'm out shooting weddings and events, and I'm finding I hate doing it.

I see books and think "I should read that". And then I don't.

I should play with Xander more. But I don't.

I desperately crave Squeaky's love and affection, but I don't know how to get it when I don't feel any love for myself.

I spend night after night sitting in this chair, surfing most of the same Web sites every night, until it's finally time to go to bed.

I should go for walks when Xander's in bed. I said I would do it earlier this year. I did it for about a week.

I go grocery shopping and bring no meals home. Nothing sounds good.

I go to bed and my mind won't stop talking to itself, so I stay awake for up to an hour, wishing it would just shut up.

I mentioned all this to my doctor this week, who pointed out that I have three options:

1. Up the dose on my current anti-depressant: Considering that this dose has pretty much eliminated my sex drive (and don't get me started on how THAT makes me feel), I'd just as soon not.
2. Add another medicine. I already dislike taking one pill, so two won't sound all that great. And what wonderful side effects do I get to add then?
3. Dump my current drug and try something new: See, I have issues with the whole trial-and-error thing when it comes to my mental state (yes, I know it's the only way to know what works and what doesn't).

Or, I can just keep on keepin' on, as it were. Which is where I am now. Fun!

But what if these drugs are what's keeping me from being happy, feeling alive? Do I take the chance that I can control the dark side of my soul without them? If it were just me, maybe I would. But it's not just me.

"Do what makes you happy," they say.

I thought I was. But if I'm not, what do I do then?

Zippy 8:37 PM

Monday, September 17, 2007

 

Here We Go Round Again



I find comfort in the fact that same "lost blog" crap that happened to me here happened to Postsecret on Sunday.

But then, he didn't have archives to lose like I did.

Spent the afternoon killing flies. Seriously, the hell? Are they those damn T-1000 liquid metal flies that go through screens? I closed one window and trapped FIVE of the damn things, then hunted down five more (with help from "Here it is, but I'm not going to kill it" cat and "Gimme paddle" (flyswatter) Xander).

Oh well. Needed to start the AC again anyway, as it's going back up to the mid-80s. Saturday, it didn't hit 70. THAT was nice. I want that back soon, please.


I think I'm in a rut again.

Zippy 9:40 PM

Thursday, September 13, 2007

 

Movie Night

I didn't really have plans tonight. Squeaky's out practicing choir, and Xander's banging aroung in his crib before sleep.

But now I have plans. I'm watching "The Natural".

For the 863rd time, I think.

It's one of those films that I have to watch if I stumble upon it. There's a handful of those for me: "Roadhouse", "The Last Starfighter", "Ronin", or "The Longest Day", among others.

I know the movie differs from the book in at least one major way (the ending--if you don't know, look it up on Wikipedia), and I have to say if the movie ended like the book, I'd never watch it.

I don't know what makes a movie trigger like this for me, but it's funny to Squeaky sometimes (she really dislikes "Ronin" and "Roadhouse")

Zippy 7:56 PM

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

 

Catching Up



Good grief. I'm becoming rather bad at this, aren't I.



Work is work. Yesterday, the main system by which we run the Web site virtually died, so I went to meetings instead of working. I accomplished about the same either way.



Shot another gig over the weekend, a 50th wedding anniversary party, which went pretty well. Much better than shooting a wedding.



Craigslist seems to be utterly unable to post an ad. I've tried five times, and it says it'll do it, but doesn't.

I fell asleep while writing this. How sad is that?

Zippy 5:09 AM

Monday, September 03, 2007

 

The Future's So Bright, I Can't Sleep

Bowling Green beats Minnesota

Clemson beats Florida State

App. State beats Michigan.

Unrelated to any of that, I'm sitting here at midnight, looking at a 4:45am wakeup, and I'm not tired. I've laying in bed for more than an hour, and I simply can't get my body to go to sleep. I get close, but not there.

Oh well. I have to see the doc this month for refills anyway. Let's add another pill!

Zippy 11:58 PM

Thursday, August 30, 2007

 

The Birds Sing, The Heavens Open, And Lo, Kickoff Has Come

In other words, college football season has begun.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh......

Zippy 9:10 PM

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

 

Artificial Love

As an occasionally-professional photographer/videographer over the years, I have a certain affection for light and how it changes a scene.

At the same time, I have a certain disdain for artificial light. More precisely, I hate it.

It comes from my old days as an overnight photographer in Toledo, where shining a big ol' 250-watt light was liable to get you shot at (or have rocks thrown at you). Plus, when you used a light, everything stopped the instant you turned it on. People stopped doing what they were doing to look at you, or turned away. Generally, while making a scene better lit, it also made it less interesting.

So eventually, I didn't even get the light out of the truck.

But even before that, when I was shooting for newspapers, I would much rather push the film speed and get a grainy photo than use a flash, which suddenly would alert everyone "Hey, there's a photographer here."

However, since starting my little side business, I've had to take a different look at flash and what it can do. And eventually, I decided to get a real flash.

Wow.

Let's just say, this thing is so much more advanced than the last flash I owned that there's no comparison. It's wonderful. It's fast. It's accurate. And best of all, it's pretty easy to make it look like natural light, rather than artificial.

Just on a short test, I can say I'm almost looking forward to using flash at my next shoot next week.

Zippy 8:05 AM

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

 

Mundane

Wow. I haven't done much here lately.

Beach trip home was good, thanks to the portable DVD player we bought for the car, just in case.

Since then, it's really just been work.

Um.

We bought a ladder to get a tree limb down. That was...different from a usual day.

So...

How you doin?

Zippy 10:33 PM

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

 

The Beach

Overall, I'd say Xander likes the beach















He has to look stylish for the beach babes.






















A budding excavator





















I wasn't sure how he'd take to the ocean, but he shows no fear, even when splashed ("Salty," he says)


















Of course, the pool's a pretty big hit as well.

Zippy 9:03 PM

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

 

Hot. Did I Mention Hot. I Did? Oh. BTW, Hot.

Apparently, all the cool weather we had in July? We have to pay for it now. This week. Immediately.

It was damn near 80 when I left to catch the bus this morning. Plus, somehow, the 39 bus smelled like my junior high locker room again. There's nobody ON the damn bus when I get on. How?

The trip home is equally fun. The available "shade" at the bus stop, isn't. But at least I haven't had a bus with broken AC like I did last week when it was only in the mid-80s.

Soon, we head off to ol' OIB for vacation, our first, really, since Xander joined us. Plus, since we don't live in S.C. anymore, it's now a 12-14 hour drive, not the 5 hours it was before. Oh well.

I'll have pretty limited Internet access there. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing, but I'm leaning toward good. I'll still take the laptop, of course, and I know where the (few) free Wi-Fi spots are in the county, but if I never log in, I can't say I'll be terribly upset.

Mind you, the last time I did the trip? I logged in every day via 28.8k dialup to check on the site.

Things change. Or it's the antidepressants. Whichever.

Xander's reaction to the ocean should be entertaining. He likes water. He's never seen bigger than the stream down at the park, though.

Hee.

Zippy 9:59 PM

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

 

...

My parent company is in Mendota Heights, not very close to where the I-35W bridge fell into the Mississippi River tonight, but nonetheless, I hope none of my coworkers were on it.

Zippy 8:26 PM

 

Sunshine Day

It's a tad warm outside today.

(photographed at the intersection of Crescentville Road and Ohio State Route 747, West Chester Township)

Zippy 9:04 AM

Monday, July 30, 2007

 

Lazy Summer - Not

I'd love to say that it's been such a thing, but it's not. Work, work, work. Vacation in a couple of weeks. Then more work.

But it's not bad. I shot my first wedding in .... hmmm ... 22 years, and it went well. I've got two more photo shoots lined up, and I'll be resubmitting my Craigslist ad after vacation, so we'll see.

Squeaky got a new laptop, so she officially has the most powerful computer in the house. I'm just happy to have one that won't die if I spill things on it (and I suspect I will, someday)

Xander's quite the handful now. His obsession, currently, is trains. EVERY DAY after daycare, I have to drive him over to the CSX yard about a mile from the house so we can watch the trains. If I get very lucky, they'll be moving cars around, so for 20 minutes, it's non-stop train. He just goes nuts.

After that, fire trucks.

I'm in the middle of an eBay selloff to pay for some of Squeaky's laptop and perhaps part of a new flash for my camera. That's about the only thing I _need_ right now. I'd like a backup camera, a couple of different lenses and perhaps a remote flash trigger. But if I can just get lighting under control, I'll be a lot happier.

I'll see about posting some photos tomorrow.

Zippy 8:45 PM

Monday, July 23, 2007

 

Caught Up In The Frenzy

I admit it. I'm totally sucked in by the viral marketing campaign for the new monster movie coming next year on 1-18-08.




The idea of a monster movie told from the perspective of those running away fascinates me. If the new version of War of the Worlds disappointed me in any way, it was that I was hoping for that perspective, but didn't quite get it. I knew too much, as it were.

So I find myself poking around Aintitcool.com, the Wikipedia entry and the film's web site to find out more. I'd hang out at the Slusho.jp Web site (rumored to have something to do with the film, perhaps the monster itself), but frankly, the music grates on my nerves.

I'll be very curious to see what comes out of this. They cast nobodys, essentially, and spent "only" $30 million on the film, and half of that on special effects, supposedly.

We shall see.

Zippy 1:19 PM

Thursday, July 19, 2007

 

He Lives

Yep, still here. Kinda in a rut lately. Not much to say. I shall return in the next few days.

Zippy 5:26 AM

Sunday, July 08, 2007

 

Traffic Backup on Memory Lane

I decided to start scanning some of my old photos so I can store them permanently, and it's been fun to look back at my college years.

This is my dorm hallway at Christmas.
















Guy beating the train that ran through town. Man. Remember when Conrail still existed? (What? You didn't know CSX bought it years ago?)
I waited in the rain huddled under an umbrella for an hour waiting for someone to do this. Hee.

Tonight, on Fox: When Bats Invade Dorm Rooms! (Yes, he's flying right at me in this shot.)

Zippy 8:19 PM

Saturday, July 07, 2007

 

Hello, My Name Is Zippy, And I Have A Shopping Problem

If I actually bought things, I'd be a shopaholic. As it is, I just constantly _want_ to buy things, spend lots of time looking at things I'd buy, and an equal amount of time pointing out that I have no use for most of those things.

I wonder if I got this from my mother, who once bought a new car to piss off a salesman that dissed them (they got rid of it a month later). At one point, my parents were averaging 1 or 2 new cars a year. They just got tired of one, traded it for another.

Fortunately, my tastes don't run quite that high. Instead, I think about getting a new cell phone, something that has wireless built in, and Web browsing, and makes french fries. Except I barely use the phone I have now. So why get a more expensive phone that I won't use?

Oh well. At least it keeps me busy, and as long as I don't actually buy things, it's harmless.

Picked up some wire fencing to try to protect the last few leaves on our cherry tree from the rabbits running around. I never had a reason to dislike rabbits before. Now, they are on my list right after yellow jackets.

Zippy 2:04 PM

Friday, June 29, 2007

 

OMG I Want To Go To Bed

This has to be the worst case of Friday-itis I've had in years. I don't want to be here. I'm tempted to call in sick when my coworker gets in, go home and fleepin' sleep all afternoon.

Fleepin!

Zippy 9:08 AM

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

 

Over And Over

I survived my first wedding photography shoot. It helped that the bride and groom were quite laid back about the whole thing--I'd have done poorly with some bridezilla.

Xander's turned into Mr. Short Term Memory:

"Green truck?"
"You just had it five minutes ago. Where did you put it?"
"Mama's car?"
"No, we haven't left the house. It's here somewhere. Where did you put it"
*pause*
"Green truck?"
*find green truck*
*wait five minutes*
"Ambulance?"
"You just had that one, too! Where did you put it?"
"Mama's car?"

It's finally started to rain here again, which means I'll actually have to cut the grass one of these days.

Zippy 5:24 AM

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

 

Mama, Can You Spare Some Worm?

This next is three feet above my head if I stand under the only tree near my first afternoon bus stop.

But as you can see, branches abound.

When I shot it, I thought this was the worst of the three I managed to take before the bus arrived.

But now, if it hadn't been for that ONE DARN BRANCH, I'd have been thrilled.

Instead, I'm just happy with it. Which is fine for now.

Zippy 9:49 PM

Thursday, June 14, 2007

 

Sunrise Over Springdale



So, in a move that probably further cements my insanity, I've started a low level photography business on the side.



When I say this is a low-level operation, I mean it -- a Blogger website, plus free advertising on Craigslist.



So far, two people have been interested in having me shoot their weddings.



Man, I hate shooting weddings.



So I've gone out of my way to point out to prospective clients that I am _not_ a typical wedding photographer. I've known full-fledged wedding photogs, and I shall never willlingly step into those shoes.



But if someone can accept that I'm just a rather eccentric photographer (and cheap, too), then I'll be fine.

Zippy 8:05 PM

Friday, June 08, 2007

 

Ask Your Doctor About HA HA

I probably should feel really bad about how happy I was to see Paris Hilton returned to jail.

But I don't.

Zippy 7:56 PM

Thursday, June 07, 2007

 

A New Day

It's going to be hot as crap today on the bus home. Temps in the low 90s. Blech!

On the plus side, I get to play with my new camera, a Canon S2IS. I got it for an absolute steal on eBay.

It's a cool camera in that it's got a big zoom (12x) plus image stabilization. So it fits a nice niche between my easily-pocketable Sony and my big ol' Canon 20D.

(photo is Carew Tower in downtown Cincinnati, from the Government Square bus transfer point.)

Zippy 12:09 PM

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

 

Riding The Bus Isn't Always As Glamorous As It Looks

Especially when the rain runs sideways. These folks were waiting for my bus.

Seriously, this was wind, rain, lightning, thunder. Two guys inside the bus shelter screamed like little girls every time the wind blew more cold rain on them.

The rain fell in sheets and waves, roaming across the traffic of Central Parkway.

A woman walked by, no umbrella, no coat, just her now-soaked clothes, and she wasn't hurrying.

I was soaked from the waist down because, while I did bring a raincoat, I'd not brought rain pants or shoes.

But it was fun. I stood _behind_ the bus shelter to keep the wind off, listened to my This Week in Tech podcast and smiled the whole time.

Zippy 2:58 PM

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

 

No Jacket Required

Those of you who know me know I love me a good jacket. With lots of pockets. And more pockets.

So I was sorely tempted when Scottevest put several of their jackets (33 pockets, mind you) on sale.

But I held off.

However, it occured to me that some of y'all might actually like a jacket that you can load with stuff without looking like you have a jacket loaded with stuff.

So, click here and enjoy!

Zippy 9:32 PM

Monday, May 28, 2007

 

The Cat Days Of Pre-Summer



Ah, Memorial Day. When 96% of America takes a holiday. Except me. (and cops, doctors, etc.)



Spent part of the day at work, the rest watching Xander. He was surprisingly well behaved, once he convinced me (loudly) that he, really, did not want to nap.



Meanwhile, we're trying to figure out what to do about Quark. She insists on being fed at some point between 2 and 4 a.m.



Yes, a.m.



First option will be to give her a bit of food before bed, then see if she waits until I get up. But she's a creature of habit, so I'm not certain this will work. As the alternative would probably be to put her in the garage at night, I'd rather try this first.



Squeaky's got her first band performance (rock band, that is) on Friday, and I get to go as "media liason" (i.e. I take photos and video.)



I'm rather excited at the prospect, as I haven't shot much of, well, anything lately, so it'll be good practice.



In the meantime, I'm selling off my old TV news film cameras. Two of my former S.C. coworkers are buying one each. That'll pay for a used f2.8 zoom lens to use in low-light situations (like, say, a concert), as well as a waterproof housing for my little Sony.



If a third former co-worker buys one and I sell the last one elsewhere (eBay, or Otis, if you're reading this), then I might be able to get the other camera I've been looking at for "carry around" duty. The Sony's good, but the zoom lens is too short for that job (I still carry it, though.)

We'll see. Squeaky also found a bitchin' sofa on Craigslist, and I really do want a sofa for cuddling purposes one of these days. A living room with five chairs and no couch is a bit strange.

Of course, so are we.

Zippy 9:54 PM

Monday, May 21, 2007

 

Some Days...

Well, if you're going to get a story wrong, it's good to be able to blame someone else.

A prosecutor told several stations today that a certain Cincinnati Bengal had failed a drug test, which puts him in line for some serious jail time.

Then, three hours later, he came back with "Whoa, that might not be right, let me check that"

After the noon news.
After we'